9 Things I've Learnt from Grading my Foundation Physics Class

1. Energy is not conserved.
2. Mathematical constants may vary from time to time.
3. Conventional Laws of Electricity may be amended at any time to suit any occasion.
4. The Creation of a Unifying Theory of Currents, Voltages and Resistances. Unit of measurement? An Ampere Volt Ohm.
5. Gravity is merely a suggestion.
6. Isaac Newton's Laws of Motion have been replaced by the Laws of Wherever-I-Want-it-to-Go.
7. Trigonometry is subject to individual interpretation.
8. Every action has an unequal and impossible reaction...
9. ... and the Pythagoras Theorem... Oh the crying shame... THE PYTHAGORAS THEOREM!!!

Yes, my students have broken every single law of Physics and Math that has ever existed since the dawn of time.

I'm pretty sure in an alternate universe somewhere, I'm being awarded the Nobel Prize of Awesomeness due to me and my students' contribution to science and the debunking of the myth of Physics.

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

I have actually no idea how the real deal looks like. I've heard it's some kinda medal.

But this is MY alternate universe! If I say the Nobel prize looks like a trophy then it sure as hell is a trophy!

P.S. I've also developed a great knowledge of hieroglyphs. I can now decipher whether a student-drawn oddly shaped squiggle is either the number '6', the letter 'b' or a mini unicorn head.

It looks the same. Right? Riiighhht?